Top 10 Things That Only Women With Big Bréasts Can Understand

If you've got C-cup or larger-sized bréasts, chances that it feels like you permanently have a toddler attached to your body, and like most demanding children, they dominate your whole life.

Top 10 Big Bóob Problems:

1. Under-bóob sweat

2. Your brás being mistaken for áss-holders and/or hats

3. Budgeting to afford a brá that actually fits

4. Finding the right specialty brá shop with a correctly-trained fitter you actually trust, or at the very least, just finding a store that actually carries your size

5. Packing a larger suitcase just to fit your brás into

6. Figuring out ways to get your insurance to pay for a bréast reduction

7. Demi-cup overspill

8. Shopping for clothes based on whether or not you can wear a brá with them

9. Wondering if a guy is actually looking at you or only interested in your chest

10. How not to look crazy while holding your boóbs to avoid black eyes during a run

Growing Up With Big Boóbs

Oh yeah, you can fill out a sweater like it's nobody's business, and you certainly get male eyes on you, but with your giant ta-tas comes a life of watching your boóbs pop out of brás, shirts and dresses like they're rampaging bulls on the streets of Pamplona.

And if you think bréasts don't have a mind of their own, well, honey, we really have to beg to differ. Remember when you were 12 and growing mosquito bites for the first time and were so absurdly proud of yourself?

While guys were having shin splints from growing too tall, too fast, the big-títty-committeé éxploded stretch marks over bean-bag boóbs that hurt if you even looked at them.

I went from a training brá to a C-cup at the age of 12 and a D by my 13th birthday. It's no wonder I was mistaken for an 18-year-old, since no one was bothering to look at my face.

Fast forward through middle school and high school, where many of the less-endowed girls were all glaring daggers at you, and often not-so-quietly calling you slutty and dumb behind your back.

It often seemed everyone else was using complex algorithms dictating that the bigger our cup size, the more likely we were to spread our legs, and the lower our intelligence must be.

Meanwhile, while others were busying judging us, we were left trying to figure out how to find prom dresses that didn't make us look like pórn stars, button-downs that didn't póp buttóns so fast they take an eye out and attempting to get guys to look above our chin when they talked to us.

As girls with huge bóobs, we are often told by friends and family to "Stop complaining. I only wish I had bóobs like yours." Jokes aside, there are a lot of drawbacks.

Amidst the obvious clothing issues and drooling stares, there is also back pain, posture issues, hindrancés when it comes to running and working out and postpartum inflation/stretching that we've heard only makes the situation worse.

Feeling séxy with boóbs so heavy they really don't look great without a brá is a feat. I know what you're thinking -- all men love boóbs, right? Well, maybe.

But with a naturally large chest, it can be hard to feel good nakéd, since your comfort in cléavage is strippéd away when the brá comes off. Celebrities and pórn stars post-plastic surgery have created the illusion that big boóbs are perfectly round and stand up on their own.

Wearing a backless dress is not a problem, because gravity doesn't exist and nipplés are perfectly even. Not true. Even at a young age, the giant girls sag from the sheer weight and flip-flop about in pretty much the least séxy way possible.

Not a great visual, right? We can only fear for how Left and Right will look 20 years from now.

So, the next time you think us ladies who have been blessed (or cursed) with G-cup bréasts need to realize how lucky we are, remember that we are just as insecure with ourselves as women who only need a camisole.

We carry our own (very heavy) insecurities every day, too. Like everyone else, we learn how to cope with our own body image issues.

You either hide behind giant clothing and pretend your bréasts aren't the first thing anyone sees, or you learn to break the ice, make the first joke and just acknowledge the elephant(s) in the room. Because if you don't, someone else will.